Rekindled Faith: From the Desert to the Hanger

Happy First Day of Spring! I thought it was time for a little update about my life lately to explain how my business has grown and evolved. And there is no better time to do it than Spring Equinox time - as we tip into the brightness of the season of growth and light!

Because my business is so personal, there have been waves of clarity, confusion, and stagnation. There’s a feeling within me of a ‘need to come clean’ about the name of my biz: Home For My Humanity. Because every time I explain it, in my podcast intros, my mailings or postcards, social media taglines, biographies, etc. I just don’t feel like I’ve quite captured it. And recently it all ‘hit home.’ Then it all made sense. The feeling of being at home in my humanity is when I’m caught off guard by my own complexity. I don’t know why, but it’s remarkably reassuring to realize a story, or myself, or the universe, or the situation is far more complex than I can realize - and only by giving into trusting the process can I fully witness the beauty of my own life. Such a thing happened last month, and I want to try to process it here. This blog is my outlet for such things, and the future direction of my real estate business is largely affected by the elements of this story so I may as well share what I can about the backstory.

FEBRUARY 2024 - Marana, Arizona

One of the most challenging months of my life. I had a trip scheduled to see my granny, my last surviving grandparent, who lived in Marana, Arizona for the past 20 years when they moved there from Odessa, Missouri. I was 11 or so when they moved from our home in Missouri, and visiting the saguaro region of the southwest had become associated with my grandparents over the past two decades.

Ten days before I got to Marana, my granny had a major stroke and cardiac event. They’re not sure which happened first (most likely the stroke) because she laid on the ground for 12+ hours waiting for a neighbor and community manager to check in and call 911 (which in that time could raise cardiac enzyme levels to that of a “cardiac event” like a heart attack). My granny has lived alone for 8 years, the way she wants it, in the same house she bought with my papa, who passed away in 2016. I wanted to spend more time with her in her “beautiful desert” hence the Feb. trip plan plus planning an extended winter in her neighborhood next year. But life had a different plan - my entire original trip was spent visiting her everyday in rehab, watching her practice with occupational therapy, speech and language therapy, and physical therapy. I really liked getting to know her nurses and therapists, and learn how the staff shifts and doctors manage it. Her medicine changed often, with new doctors switching doses daily, and watching stroke recovery was a wild ride - different day by day. My aunt was there before me; as a nurse for several years, she knew the medical language and care standards with each new hospital, medication, status change - you name it. She’s a grand storyteller, leaving out few details from the daily drama. Every day we was there, we saw footage covering the Arizona medical system strain, staff shortages, and decline in patient care. Long story short: my family saw it first hand.

On top of medical system drama, my family has some bad blood. It’s more than my story, and it goes back generations before my birth so it’s best not to get into the weeds here. But needless to say, my granny’s power of attorney made it difficult to know what would happen next. So by the end of my trip, I had helped pack up her entire house, which was to be put on the market ASAP, after she is transferred to a 24/7 assisted living home, where she would continue rehab and hopefully improve. My dad arrived a few days after me with my uncle, and we had several family meetings over the week or so in the midst of all the decision-making. We wanted her to come home, to her bed, couch, dog, hallway, bathroom, and hummingbird feeders. We thought that would help her stroke recovery. But POA and God had different plans. My original departure date was her rehab discharge date, so I extended my stay to visit her the first 3 days of assisted living to help her transition. It was absolutely worth it, as it gave me more time with my dad, aunt, and granny. Because she was moved to Casa Grande, it gave me a morning with my dad to visit the Casa Grande National Monument (which was soul shifting, providential timing, and super cool!) and fly out of Phoenix instead of Tucson like originally planned.

In the time since her admission at the end of February, and writing this today on March 19th, she has had no on-site rehab like she was promised. Apparently the medical orders never arrived at the home, despite the POA and family members checking regularly. So, my granny is now being transferred back to her home state of Missouri, to be closer to her children for the final chapter of her life. Someday, she’ll be brought back to the Marana Veteran’s Cemetery to be buried with my papa - but until then, she’ll be receiving better treatment from a home in Missouri, where she’ll be visited by many more family members. So what does this mean for me? I’m not sure yet, but I know the opportunity to once again have my granny in my home town does sound appealing to me. She needs more support and care and I know she deserves it, despite her pushing people away for most of her life. Which leads me into “the heart of my business” that I mentioned at the beginning of this post…

At the beginning of my trip, I had no idea what that journey would bring. I expected to drive through valleys and mountains, visit gardens, and watch desert sunsets with my granny. Instead, I watched her recover from a stroke in rehab, pack up her house, and move her into assisted living away from her home. Every day was filled with hard choices and that continues to next week, when she makes her long ride to Missouri. The whole shitty-ness of the situation has an ancestral tone to it, like hard decisions are what runs in this family. Being confronted with familial patterns is something I wasn’t expecting to in February. I wasn’t expecting to see my same hardness, isolation, bitterness, anger, and toughness in my granny. Man, my granny is TOUGH. At the same time, I wasn’t expecting to relate to a new side of her too: softness, a sense of surrender, acceptance, feeling grief we can talk about, and accepting help. On my last trip to see her, right before the pandemic, we watched home movies and she told me stories about before my dad was born. Her childhood is quite literally beyond my comprehension. I have to use my imagination and black and white photographs to understand the life of my great-grandma, who gave birth to 11 babies, raised 9, lived on dirt floors, survived by gleaning veggie crops and selling them at market, and watching my great-grandpa dig a home foundation with a shovel but die before he finished it from alcoholism. My father created a very different life for me, but he inherited my granny’s stubbornness. I’ll hand it to both of them: their stubbornness is why I can create waves of change in this world.

I recently had someone tell me their ancestors were given sage advice shortly after coming to America in the mid 1800’s. She said, “Get yourself a Missouri woman, and she’ll get you to Oregon.” And that’s what her great-grandpa did: when he got to Missouri, he found himself a wife, took a wagon from Independence, Missouri all the way to the Oregon coast, where together they built a farmstead and raised a family with decedents that today make great friends. :) I can’t help but relate to that level of grit, stubbornness that melts with bravery, and dedication to the vision. It’s why I know my business will build great things, because my granny possesses those powers. And I have never before been confronted with such an intense mirror of both the darkness and light inside of me… than witnessing my almost-83-year-old granny live out life in a very similar way as me. And see what her life has become. I feel I’m in a wake of insight, like I was given the gift of something that I do not yet fully understand.

I am so glad this month came to the end it did. I flew back to Seattle on March 1st, a new chapter.

MARCH 2, 2024 - Arlington, Washington

This is the day I celebrated my husband Justin’s 32nd birthday and we unofficially commemorated him by business partner “that day at the hanger.” Quite literally, he drove straight from the SeaTac airport to the Arlington airport, for an event called “The Day at the Hanger” as one of the classes for my Saturday real estate mentorship, Walls and Wallets. Justin had just come from an adventure of equal length in Missouri (we timed our trips) where he saw family, built his business team, had dental work, and met up with old friends. We talked about it all after an immersion in the coolest real estate seminar I’ve been to yet: A Day at the Hanger with Greg Pinneo. Greg is a real estate investor, builder, and creative educator who weaves humanity into his work in a way I haven’t seen from a “real estate guru” before - and believe me, there are many “gurus.” But Greg didn’t strike me as one, nor did he strike Justin that way when he arrived late and caught up the rest of the day. Greg is also a pilot, so “the hanger” is literally his hanger, with his plane outside that he flies across the country to work and teach. He was immediately friendly, with a story and culture I could relate to, and had students that were also my mentors. I was in awe.

The coolest thing about learning with Greg was being able to do it with Justin. The past few years have been hard on our marriage, and today we’re stronger than ever. After a couple big moves, career changes, roommate changes, couples therapy, and life plan alterations… our marriage is finding more synthesis the past few months than it has in recent years. So when Greg started talking about Options in real estate, Justin lit up. Justin knows and loves the stock market and frankly I couldn’t care less beyond how it affects the real estate market. But Greg teaches finance at the intersection of options trading and real estate creative contracting. There was a happy fusion that lit us both up in a way that thoroughly stimulated real estate talk over dinner that night. I realized that my husband is my real estate partner whether I realize it or not. We’ve already bought one house together, now we’re discussing the second, and I’m planning my real estate business around where we will live during different parts of the year.

Maybe someday, Justin and I will attend Greg’s mentorship Power Players, but for now I’ll focus on my education with Walls and Wallets and keep all of Greg’s inspiration and advice in the forefront of my mind. Because a solid real estate business plan is to think long term, the same way I want to build my scout program: over time.

SPRING 2024 - The Birth of Home Scouts

Despite some moments of my Arizona trip feeling like I should move to Casa Grande to be close to my granny, and now wondering if Missouri is calling me back to be closer to family at this liminal time… I am left in a spiraled out daze of utter contentment. What is, is. And what will be, will be. I wondered if Home Scouts should still be launched this spring - but this plan has been in the works for months, and in some ways, YEARS. So I’m not giving up on Home Scouts, because I know it’s the start of something amazing. My faith in the evolution of my Home, my Humanity, and my Stewardship practice of a working and successful mission is stronger than EVER. Duvall and Carnation are my homes right now - this is where I am meant to be. Join me if you’d like! More info: HomeForMyHumanity.com/HomeScouts