The Grace of Good Neighbors

I recently walked into my landlord’s kitchen to hand him my rent check. I mentioned I was getting sick and he said “oh no!” My instinctual reaction was to take a physical step back - I did it somewhat automatically. He said quickly, “oh you’re alright, I have an immune system.”

In a world “post-covid” (is that really real?) the way we react to each other’s health has shifted. It feels like more people want to know about your fevers, your immunization records, and your contagious symptoms. When I say “people” I of course include myself; I can’t deny I see all the “this area sanitized for your safety” and believe extra safety measures are done in the name of us truly caring about each other. However I began to believe, on some level, the distance from other people and extra anti-microbials are the more optimal solution for my health.

As a holistic minded individual, I knew social connection played a key role in my nervous system health. Isolation was hard on me, and the anxious grasping at “good” standing with neighbors, colleagues, friends, and family members was absolutely related to unconsciously perceiving their comfort and safety standards (which means sometimes I get it wrong). We seem to be more aware of our effect on each other and responsibility for each other than we did before. I say all this because I genuinely feel like I relate to people differently now… and I wonder if you do too?

One reason I’m so passionate about the way we perceive others’ comfort levels is because in the rebuilding of integrated community, I want to adopt my neighbors as chosen family. This means deepening trust with the people around me, and that doesn’t come easily.

What kind of neighbors do you want around you?

Do you want to share time, resources, or space with them?

Can they communicate the good, the bad, and the ugly in a sustainable way?

How will you show up for them in times of need or struggle?

In my times of need, having people around me to show up with love and grace meant the absolute world. I believe good support systems are often the fine line between surviving and thriving. In the world of housing, needing somewhere safe to go is at the center of why we build houses to call home. Having neighbors who help support that sense of safety is why integrated community housing is a passion of mine.

So if we’re here to build homes that truly house the fullness of our humanity, Home needs to hold our sense of safety as well. And the grace of good neighbors make that possible. “The people” are a key ingredient to making a neighborhood a place you love and want to be. In this way, what is good for the housing market can also be good for the nervous system - if we want it to be so.

It is my mission to create affordable housing with the human spirit in mind. Housing supportive neighbors close to each other makes living sustainable. It retains human connection - both to people and place. If saving the environment really requires more connection to it, then building a place we love to be is what we need to do. It won’t be easy. But Love is worth it.